Confidential Memo to: [redacted] From: [redacted] Re: COMELEC Automation Date: 29 June 2007 EYES ONLY =====================================
[redacted], I received instructions today from [redacted]. Word is, the original draft is unacceptable because it clears the COMELEC entirely. According to [redacted], that would put [redacted] on a collision course with the [redacted][redacted]. That's something [redacted] cannot afford right now. Especially with all the controversy stirred up by [redacted]'s comments about the [redacted][redacted] being wrong in the Echegaray case. In other words, someone's head has to roll.
I objected, but I was overruled. I said that the COMELEC would not be able to take another blow to its credibility; that it would be unfair for the COMELEC to be made the whipping boy again since there is absolutely nothing wrong with the contract. But I was overruled. Again. And again. So, to cushion the blow, I suggested that we put the blame on the BAC and Borra.
The BAC because they're not impeachable officers and, with the atmosphere as poisoned as it is now, no one will really investigate them too closely anymore. As long as we say that they're guilty, we can safely assume that everyone will believe us; that's what they were expecting anyway.
Borra, because he's considered by a lot of people to be the straightest guy there. If anybody can survive this, it would be him. Besides, everyone knows that he's pretty competent. Whoever tries to convince any judge (or impeachment court) otherwise will have a very difficult time proving incompetence. In the meantime, we've complied with the Supreme Court's ruling, the opposition gets its pound of flesh, and the public gets to read about heads rolling. Plus, assuming that [redacted] plays his cards right, the focus on Borra will give the rest of the COMELEC breathing room and allow it to survive mostly intact - at least until 2007. Everybody wins.
[redacted] was so happy with this solution she practicallly got out of her chair to applaud me.
So, please get on this right away. Re-draft the findings to jettison the BAC and put the blame on Borra. I'm sorry this is on such short notice, but I am confident that you'll do a great job as usual. When you're done, give a copy to [redacted] so he can get it on radio right away. Don't send an official copy to [redacted] so they can have the weekend to plan their next move.
By the way, I saw our old professor Niccolo today. He says hi.
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Dwende, she said used earth mounds only as gateways to their cities which were underground. These cities were supposed to have been above ground a long time ago, but the movements of the earth eventually subsided them to where they are now; and they've been their for a little less than a million years. This, according to my gramma, was why many people still see dwende above ground: they miss the sky.
Dwende cities do not have a sky, as you might imagine. Instead they have very high ceilings of intertwined plant roots, including tree roots and grass roots. These ceilings were painstakingly grown on by the dwende starting from when they learned that their cities were slowly sinking. It took each city a thousand years to grow their ceilings, my gramma said, explaining why dwende hated people who destroyed trees and why we had to always say "tabi tabi po" - a kind of warning combined with a plea for forgiveness for the intrusion - before we stomped around gardens or pulled up particularly ancient looking clumps of weed.
Being an aspiring archaeologist at that age, I looked at her askance. If there are dwende cities underground, why haven't they been dug up yet? I demanded to know. She smiled at me and patiently explained a little more.
No one has ever dug that deep, she said. Dwende ceilings begin about half a mile under the surface, and the tops of the highest buildings in the dwende cities are about another mile farther down. "So it's hot down there because of the m-m-magma?" I said, struggling with the word but terribly proud to show off that I knew how to use it in a sentence.
"It would be," she said, "but before you get to the magma (big smile at me to show that she noticed my use of the word) there are many big rivers buried deep in the rock."As my gramma explained it, the water of these rivers came from sinkholes near the north and south poles, starting their journey under the earth as chunks of ice. As the ice from the north flowed down to the south pole and vice-versa, the ice melted, taking most of the magma's heat. Not all of it, though, so the dwende cities had warmer climates.
Did they have a sun? I asked. My gramma shook her head firmly: no. That's ridiculous, she said. The dwende didn't have a sun, but the tree-root ceiling has many plants and animals that give off light light fireflies. I nodded sagely. I had discovered fireflies just the night before, so I understood what she was talking about. Animals - and plants - like fireflies, she said, followed a biological clock that told them when to switch their lights on and off. So imagine a million million million of these animals, she told me, all slowly turning their lights on and just as slowly turning their lights off, with some forgetting to do it when everything else has gone dark. That, she said, is biological night and day.
I pestered her for more details, but she said she was tired and that she would continue explaining things to me in the morning. I went to bed that night wondering if I wasn't in some underground city, watching stars that were really just lit up mushrooms and bugs. It made me feel real small and - even at that young age - helped me understand perspective.
::::
More to follow, of course. But in the meantime, other people have written about, and drawn pictures of, a hollow earth too: here, here, and here.
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Officialy, the community is called Bagong Pag-Asa, the New Hope. A resettlement area dominated by three low-cost apartment buildings that rise above the shanty-town that covers almost every square inch of ground. This is where the dregs of the city come together: murderers, thieves, whores, runaways. Here they make lives for themselves, falling in love and raising families while they eke out a living by whatever means possible. Everything here is for sale or for rent or for the taking; nothing is beyond the commerce of man. Even children know this, and their eyes tell you so. Hard, flinty, measuring - always measuring, trying to figure out what your relationship could be: would he be your victim? or you, his? For children raised in Bagong Pag-Asa, every possible kind of relationship could be boiled down to those two choices.
The cops don't come here, anymore, not since they lost three mobile patrol cars, fifteen handguns, and four of the city's Finest, in a riot that started out with a child's ball being popped run over by a passing police car. The riot lasted two days. After that, no one called this place Bagong Pag-asa anymore. For everyone here, and for everyone beyond the barbed wire fence the cops built around this community after the riots, this is the desperate county; ang bayan ng bigo.
- An introduction to Bayan ng Bigo. I've been tossing this idea around in my head for a long time now, dreaming up the people of this place. I think now, I am ready to tell their stories.
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I grew up in a family that believed in ghosts. My mother believed in them, my sister often claimed to be harassed by them, and my father - well, he laughed at ghosts but shivered when no one was looking. I, on the other hand, wanted to talk to one.
There are lots of stories about the dead communicating with the living, the bible notwithstanding. Ghosts have been with us (humanity, I mean) since time immemorial, antedating all organized philosophical systems - even Catholic dogma. I suppose you could say that the belief that something of us survives death is one of the oldest philosophies. If nothing else, it is certainly the most persistent. Myself, i think that ghosts are a trick of the mind - some deep corner of our psyche that tries to tell us something using the form and voice that will best grab our attention.
Remember, our minds are complex affairs. There are levels of awareness that we are not attuned to. Like dogs being able to hear sounds in the ultra-frequencies, or sharks being able to detect the bio-electrical fields of other fish, or dolphins being able to paint a sonar-picture of their environment, humans definitely have the potential (at least!) to tune in to the world in extra-sensory ways. The mind, therefore, would be operating on at least two levels: the sensory level where the input is primarily from the five senses; and the the meta-level where the input is extrasensory. I think the sense of being looked at (when you 'feel' someone watching you) or 'women's intuition' are very common examples of the mind operating on the meta-level.
This partitioned mind works like this: the sensory mind allows us to function in our ordinary environment, reacting to normal sensory stimulus, and operating according to strict logical rules; the meta-mind, on the other hand, responds to a whole different set of stimule and operates on totally different rules - analogous to what IQ testers call 'lateral thinking.' These two minds don't always interact, probably because we are so bombarded with ordinary sensory perception that we don't 'hear' the meta-mind.
Sometimes, however, like in emergencies or potentially life-threatening situations, the meta-mind throws an override switch that basically grabs our attention, either pushing the sensory mind into the background, or enhancing it to a fantastic degree, typically with an adrenalin spike thrown into the deal.
Naturally, since this is pretty exhausting physically, the meta-mind probably can't do this alot. So, for other situations less drastic, the meta-mind finds some other way to 'talk' to the sensory mind without panicking it. Enter, GHOSTS.
Ghosts are meta-mind creations that act like messengers: delivering information generated by the meta-mind to the sensory mind in a way that attracts the sensory mind's attention. Sometimes, the messenger will be a departed love one, sometimes it can be something from our worst nightmares. The sensory mind -- not knowing what else to do -- interprets the messenger as a ghost. Now this can either scare you or inspire warm and fuzzy feelings of nostalgia or 'ay! naalala nya ako!' The bottom line is that the message was sent and, with any luck, understood.
So, maybe, the chance to ‘communicate with the dearly departed’ is not really something to be afraid of, but something to be welcomed as link between the world we are aware of and an inner awareness that isn’t cluttered by the world. God knows that with all the crap going on in our daily lives, we all need to be reminded that some things are just as important -- like keeping in touch with old friends or family, or forgiving someone for whatever wrong they did you, or just being thankful that you're alive.
Raw fish and pineapples? Becks' girl sure is determined. Hope she saw her hubby bend that ball the other day, like he had telekinesis or something ... what am I saying? Getting cross-eyed from hunger, she might have even seen it twice. Or maybe she lost 6 pounds because of a triple whammy of food poisoning from all that raw fish.
Know that ad campaign where they try to turn stereotypes on their heads? Dove, I think. Or the Body Shop. One of the questions asked was: Flat or Flattering? On Selma Blair, definitely flattering. BTW, I just Googled it, and it's the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. Whatever that means. I understand self-esteem and all, but beauty is truly in the eye of a beholder. So, if I think that skinny is less attractive than Reuben-esque then that's real beauty for me, isn't it? The reverse holds true, except that with this Dove campaign, I'm supposed to feel like a jerk for thinking that.
Drawing comparisons to Paris Hilton is never flattering, except for when I say that Jackie Rice looks a bit like Paris (sometimes). So, it must really suck for the really excruciatingly Nordic Gwyneth Paltrow to be likened to Paris for recording her own album. After all, Gwyneth has proven that she can actually croon. Remember Cruisin'? It was from that movie Duets.
A rave review of Superman Returns makes me really curious; while a picture from Spider-Man 3 gets me even curious-er. That's a colored picture of Spidey in a black suit. Personally, I preferred the realblack suit he had in the comic book. The one that turned out to be a symbiotic creature that eventually became Venom. It was a weird story arc, but Marvel was floundering back, so we just suspended our disbelief and shelled out 100 bucks per issue, at a time when you only paid 1.50 on a jeep, and 40 pesos could get you a steaming bowl of Ted's Batchoy. Ah. But maybe my memories of that time are too fuzzy to be trustworthy. I seem to remember gasoline being free back then.
Oh, and before I totally black-out, did we really have to see these? C'mon Britney, baby! Yer killing me here!
i fell in love with a hooker. Ok, so it's not original, but that's what happened. I fell in love with a whore. I met her at this hotel on Roxas boulevard. From the outside, you could tell that the hotel had seen better days - days of glory even. The first time I saw it, I remember feeling sorry for that hotel. Of course, I didn't know at the time that this once grand hotel that now stood only as a dark, gritty, seedy reminder of its former self, had an elevator to heaven.
Ok. So it didn't quite go all the way up to heaven, just up to the Manila skyline in fact, but you didn't have to go higher up than that to meet the angels. And that's where I met Layla. Sweet, beautiful Layla. She had a face that i imagined should belong to an angel, and a body that could not have been designed for anything but sin. The minute I saw her through the tinted glass, I knew that my money had her name on it.
I pointed her out to the poker-faced attendant there. She made a note of my choice and breathed into the microphone "Number 32, taken." For I second, I thought she was going to call for a price check. My hands shook as I forked over the fee for the massage; I had never done this before and I suppose my nervousness showed. "Relax, sir." The woman said helpfully, if with a voice as bland and devoid of emotion as her eyes. "Number 32 is very good."
I managed a weak smile and hurried after the man who, with a lecherous grin, showed me into a room. Standard hotel room - the usual: big king-sized bed, a large tv, but no Number 32. I walked over to the picture window and just stared at the view, not knowing what I was supposed - or expected - to do. Should I take off my clothes and jump into bed? Should I sit around like Richard Gere in pretty woman and act all amused by my most recent purchase? And then she came in.
She padded into the room with the silent grace of a cat, and the smile of one that had just eaten a bird. Or maybe one that was just about to. I felt my keys slip out of my hands, but I never heard it hit the floor.
An hour and thirty minutes later, she planted a light kiss on my mouth - the first time I tasted her lips - and got up and went into the bath. I lay there for a long while, tired and thoroughly happy. Happy listening to the sounds of the shower and happy imagining how she must look under the running water. That was when I realized that I couldn't stomach the idea of waiting for her to come out and handing her my money. Instead I got up, put the cash into her purse, and started getting dressed. By the time I had buttoned up completely, she came out of the bath all ready to go, looking none the worse for what had happened between us. She took up her purse and politely motioned for me to walk out of the room ahead of her whenever I was ready. As I passed her, I wanted to give her my number, my address, my heart. But before I could muster the courage to speak up, she rose up on tip-toes, brought her lips close to my ear and whispered, "Thank you."
Thank you. Nothing else. No sales talk to ensure a return engagement; no hard sell, trying to pump up my ego; no sob story. Just a plain old thank you. "No, thank you" I said, with just the slightest emphasis on the 'you.' After all, she had done me the favors. And I wanted to tell her that and offer her all the promises and assurances of a better life beyond the sound-proofed walls of the brothel. But she looked at me with those eyes and, with not a word, asked me not to get her hopes up.
When I realized how empty my promises would have been, my embarassment returned with a vengeance. I couldn't look her into the eyes anymore, so I looked away; I walked down that darkened corridor like a guilty man, ducked past the security guard - who, perversely enough, came from St. Peter's Security Agency - and slunk into the elevator.
On the way down, back to earth as it were, I couldn't help but say her name over and over again. Layla. In french, they have a term for all those things you would have wanted to say, but couldn't. Things that occur to you only when you're on your way out. The spirit of the staircase, they call it. Or the elevator.
I never saw her again, nor did I ever go back to that simulation of heaven. But I fell in love with her - or more accurately perhaps, now that I can be honest enough not to confuse love with hormones, I fell in love with how she made me feel - guilt-free, unremorseful, and unburdened. Seeing Layla naked in the half-light, walking away from the still-warm bed she had just shared with me, I knew with certainty of the sun, what it must have felt like for Adam back in the day. And anyone who gives you that, you just cannot help but fall in love with.
Everyone called him the King. But when he tried to be King, he fell short. He fought a good fight, he said. No one could ask more from him. But not everyone agreed; especially those who had counted on the King becoming King. Their discontent gave birth to a smoldering anger inside their hearts, not just for the tyrant that they had not displaced, but also for the King who seemed all too eager to slip away over the hills and far away.
The discontented plotted and schemed in dark rooms and brightly lit hotels and coffe-shops. For a long time, they could not agree on a plan. The King had loyal subjects who cared little about carrying on the fight when the King himself had said that he intended not to. And so they kept on plotting and scheming, gnawing at the bitter roots of their disappointment.
One day, one fo the King's most loyal lieutenants approached the Councils of the Discontented. With tears in his eyes, he recounted the sleepless nights he suffered, stung by the King's withdrawal from the field of battle. He felt betrayed, he said. He felt ... used. He had decided that the King owed his loyal subjects one more stab at the Crown they all aspired to.
The Discontented kept silent, knowing that more would soon come. After a while and several shots of firewater, the Betrayed outlined his plan. "We must turn him into a symbol ..." he began.
Three weeks later the Discontented and the loyal subjects threw a feast for the King. A lavish affair with food and drink overflowing. For awhile, it seemed that all had been forgiven, and that the King's subjects had finally accepted his decision to seek peace with the one they called the Tyrant. The Betrayed sat next to the King - his sovereign's right arm. "Forgive, me, My King," the Betrayed said. "I should never have doubted you."
"Do not worry about it anymore, my friend," the King said. "Come, let us drink instead and forget all this talk of war and betrayal." The Betrayed pressed a cup into the King's mighty right hand and watched as his King drank deep. "Funny you should say that," he muttered.
Thirteen hours later, the Betrayed stood in front of the King's mournful subjects and, with tears in his voice, declared "The King is dead." The wail that rose up from the gathered crowd shook the dawn and startled birds from their perches up in the trees. The Betrayed held up his hand and brought stillness back.
"Before he died, he told me to tell all of you: Keep on Fighting!"
In the cozy darknesses of their cars and SUV's, the Discontented smiled. The coming days would be muted in mourning, but soon - so very soon - the battle would again be joined."
this is a return of sorts. a return to writing for the sheer pleasure of it - and to hell with whoever's looking over my shoulder. and as come-backs go, this one has a 50-50 chance of actually turning into something.
: 3:11 AM
